By Christopher A. Pape

(In No Particular Order)

Jonathan Tisch – for his Superbowl XLVIII tickets
Richard Johnson – to be featured in his new gossip column in the NY Post
Ronald Perelman – so that I can say I’m friends with a billionaire
Lachlan Cartwright – to get mentioned in his Daily News column, finally
Emily Smith – to be more frequently mentioned on Page Six
Daniel Craig – for tickets to his new Broadway show, Betrayal
Noah Tepperberg – for VIP treatment at Tao, Lavo and Marquee in New York, Vegas and beyond
Calvin Klein – for an invitation to his housewarming party in the Hamptons
Andy Cohen – to get my reality showed produced
Anna Wintour – to learn the secrets of her success
Howard Lorber – so that Douglas Elliman finally advertises with us
Ray Kelly – for a get out of jail free card
The Gossip Table (Delaina Dixon, Marianne Garvey, Rob Shuter, Chloe Melas and Noah Levy) – to be on their show
Gordon Gekko – because he’s the only financier worth mentioning
Max Burgio – for a membership to the Third Floor of B&Co.
Howard Stern – just because
Hillary Clinton – so I can get a cabinet post in her administration
Jimmy Fallon – so he’ll agree to be on the cover of The Resident
Victor Cruz – to learn salsa dancing from the best looking Giants player
Harry Brant – because we’re all waiting for the other shoe to drop
Maggio Cipriani – before everyone knows who he is
Patrick Demarchelier – so I can say “Get Patrick on the phone.”
Lorne Michaels – for his weekend updates
Jay-Z – so I can rock Tom Ford
Joan Rivers – to make sure I’m never on Fashion Police

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