How to rebuild your life after divorce

The divorce process can be difficult to navigate. This can be the case whether it was you or your ex-partner who made the decision to separate. 

There’s a lot of change that comes with the end of any relationship, but there are also details to work out so that you can both fully separate your lives after marriage. If you have children, the matter of how you’ll both continue to care for them will also require careful planning. 

As there is so much to do during the process, what comes after your divorce might not have been something you could consider. But now, you might be wondering what life will look like and how you’ll recover. 

If you’ve just finalised your divorce, having some strategies in place could be beneficial in the coming weeks and months.

During the divorce procedure, if you’re struggling to work out your finances between you, you may need to reach an agreement through mediation or go to court. Divorce financial settlement solicitors specialise in disentangling the finances you share and can create a detailed, legally binding agreement that’s specific to your circumstances.  

But, on paper, the agreements you reach when it comes to how you split your money and assets can make complete sense. However, if you relied on your ex-partner’s income, adjusting to life without that additional support can take some time. Give yourself the space to establish a new way of managing your money and create a budget that fits with your lifestyle post-divorce. 

It's important to note that you can ask for spousal maintenance in addition to any child maintenance. This can be hugely beneficial. As well as providing supplementary income for yourself where you need it, if your child or children are living with you for the majority of the time, you’ll need to arrange your finances in a way that fully supports them and their wellbeing.

Like your finances, during the divorce, you’ll have spent time working out who your child will live with for most of the time and how you’ll both share parenting responsibilities. Your children’s welfare should be the most important consideration here, and it’s vital that you and your ex ensure that you’re both putting their needs first. 

Co-parenting may take a little time to get used to. While you need to keep routines as similar as possible for your children, you will go through a period of adjustment as you get used to the way the new arrangement works. One major example of this is when you might have nights where you’re home alone because your child is staying with your ex-partner. This can take some getting used to. 

However, by having a clear plan in place and working to establish a good co-parenting setup with your ex, you can slowly move into this new way of caring for your child.

Divorce can affect people in different ways. It could affect your emotional wellbeing. You may feel sad about the separation, or it could be that you’re feeling hurt or angry – even if you’ve got a good relationship with your former partner. Your mental wellbeing can also be impacted. You could be stressed or anxious due to the divorce process. 

At this time, it’s important to keep your friends and family close. Confide in those you trust and allow yourself to be supported by them. You might be able to get some advice, or it could be that they’re the distraction you need right now.

Being single after the end of your marriage can seem like a huge change, especially if you were married for a long time. But it’s important to remember why you got divorced. Being in a relationship with your ex wasn’t right for you, and it can take a while to find out who you are without them in your life. 

Before you try dating again – if that’s something you’re considering – spend some time prioritising yourself and your needs. Are there any activities that you want to try now? Maybe you’d like to travel? If there was anything holding you back before, this is your opportunity to do what you want. Try to enjoy and embrace this time before you jump into any new relationships.

Overall, it’s vital that you’re kind to yourself. Divorce is a huge change, so give yourself the time to adjust.